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Are you intrigued by this week’s title?! We hope so because this is a Happy Father’s Day tribute for Moms so they can “understand” Dads more so they truly can have a Happy Father’s Day all year long. Dads, this is our gift to you!
This title is part of a wonderful book, Hogan Hilling’s The Modern Moms Guide to Dads: 10 Secrets You Husband Won’t Tell You. I must say, I immediately got the book because I wanted to know!
Hogan is a stay-at-home dad and has been for the last 19 years! He and his wife, TIna have three wonderful sons who are all happy, healthy, and going to college, so Hogan knows what he’s talking about. Also, he does workshops for Dads so they can understand more about being at home with the children while their wives go to work.
In his book which is co-authored by a fabulous Mom, Jesse Rutherford (who gives the book the Mommy perspective on various topics that I was agreeing with the whole time! ), his goal in writing this was to bridge the communication gap husbands and wives tend to have regarding parenting. He explains that women are conditioned all their lives to be nurturing, mothering, loving, all the warm and fuzzies. Men, on the other hand are discouraged to do things such as play with dolls, babysit, develop any parenting skills as young boys… consequently, they are expected to “Just Know” how to do things immediately.
He brings up a good point in one of his secrets, Dads need to learn in as much time as you (Moms) did. This is how moms unknowingly criticize Dads’ diapering, dressing, cooking, etc. techniques which is very hurtful. Hogan asks, “How do you feel when your mother-in-law comes in the door and starts to criticize you?” We don’t like it, right? So, why would we treat our husbands in the same way?! Hmmm…..
Another secret is Please let go so I can bond. Moms need along time to rejuvenate, rest, and just be away from the baby. When this happens, Moms need to allow Dads to bond with baby by letting go. Let Daddy bond with your baby. He wants to do this. But, you have to let go and not hover like a helicopter.
The best one I think out of all of them is It’s the What, not the How! This nugget tells us Moms that Dads need to learn by allowing us to make their own mistakes. It doesn’t matter HOW something is done. What’s important is that he DID IT!!! Woo-hoo!!! It may not be the way you diaper , feed, bathe, baby,… but it’s Daddy’s way. (Be sure to listen to Hogan’s lovely Grant Diaper and Dressing Stories on this show. It beautifully illustrates how Dad made some mistakes, but he only did it once!) Hogan tells us that all Dads want from Moms is a simple “Thank you.” No critiques, no redoing, just THANK YOU!!! Ah, it’s simple…
This book really is a MUST READ, MUST HAVE for all Moms and even Dads! It made me think differently about how my hubby, fabulous Dad that he is and how sometimes I do not just let him be. It is so challenging for us Moms to let go and appreciate it’s the what not the how, but WE MUST!
Hogan wonderfully states “Just because Moms and Dads parent differently, doesn’t mean they can’t parent together.” Thanks Hogan for the gentle reminder.
We will bring Hogan back next week for more “secrets to share” with us! Happy Father’s Day to all you Fantastic Dads!!!
